my occasional musings on life, love, art, perfume ... what else is there?

9.09.2005

I Was Wordless Until I Started Typing

I had stored the Pierre Bonnard Bather for just such a wordless eventuality. She's preening a bit much for me, but she does have the anatomy for it.

Musing ... lately I've noticed myself being internally critical of women who are sexually overt in their speech, in their behavior.


What's up with that? What's wrong with a woman drooling over a nude male? Or making remarks about how hot this guy is ... and even how much she'd like to (fill in the blank).

Oh there's nothing wrong with it. Different attitudes and behavior for different people.

I just like to keep some things secret. I think that's very female: to be secretive, subtle, oblique.

The life I lived, working in a corporate environment, made me less female than I instinctively would have been. Being outside of that for a period of time makes me feel as if I have adjusted my balance in some way. Become more what I naturally am.

As much as I like men for their directness, their out-there quality, their aggression ... I just don't want to be that obvious. It feels more natural to be recessive ... not devoid of sexuality or, even better, sensuality, but not male about it.

I very much like being different from men. There's a surface tension that's enhanced when women aren't faux males ... but females.

What a luxury that is, to be exactly who you are. A gift.


Today's fragrance: (and did you notice, Bonnard's Bather seems to be applying scent) DelRae Debut with its light whiteflower sweetness ... I still am not certain about the linden but the lily of the valley is certainly right there with me. A clean, bright fragrance with some green to it, too. Bergamot, maybe.

11 Comments:

Blogger SPG said...

"Faux males"... I like that. I might just have to steal it ;-)

4:21 PM

 
Blogger still life said...

I think you're right, when we are in the corporate world it is necessary for our survival to acclimate to a more aggressive self.
I also never cared for the sexually overt,they can keep their speech and thoughts to themselves.

5:26 PM

 
Blogger Bela said...

I don't like blatant anything and blatant sexuality least of all.

"Ladettes" were not what the feminists of my generation hoped women would become. We wanted equality; we didn't want women to ape men's less endearing qualities.

5:33 PM

 
Blogger Laura said...

I'm with the French here--a little flirting and expression of delight in the sensual side of things is fine with me. And, absolutely, if I had the body of the woman in the Bonnard painting, I'd be strutting my stuff just the way she is. Mind you, she is presented alone, after her bath=---what is blatant about that?
Signed,
I Wish I Had Her Derriere

6:43 PM

 
Blogger katiedid said...

"I think that's very female: to be secretive, subtle, oblique."

I'd never wanna live that way. It'd kill me. Really. To me, being very female is being open, vulnerable (but not to the point of foolishness), and expressive. I don't think men master expressiveness generally the way women do. Nor do I think they are, again generally, willing to be open and vulnerable like women are. This is where I think being direct is an essential part of being female: it takes a willingness to be exposed and vulnerable to be direct. Men sometimes approach life issues sideways, even through their conversations. I think this is really why men like to go out to the bar with their buddies. They can talk, but they sit at the bar sitting side by side, facing forward to the bartender's bottles, rather than having to make eye contact with one another.

aknupoyp: a new drug for the chronically constipated.

7:07 PM

 
Blogger mireille said...

oh, no direct correlation was intended between my musing about a quality of overt public behavior and the Bonnard ... sorry if that confused. I appreciate her enjoyment of herself: it's actually a component of what I was talking about ... the value of sensual enjoyment in private. xoxo

7:12 PM

 
Blogger mireille said...

above was for Laura ... and Katie, regarding expressiveness: absolutely women have the corner on emotional expressiveness and emotional vulnerability ... my discussion is of the markings of aggressive sexuality -- a significant part of the male mindset -- that finds its way into some current female behavior with indiscriminate use of profanity and overt sexual reference ... I think a lot of femaleness is lost in that translation. xoxo

7:22 PM

 
Blogger katiedid said...

Silly me, I sidelined my own fool self! Pffft to myself.

Heh, I guess if anything I just showed off how "womanly" I am. I guess to me, being direct and openly expressive are emotionally intertwined with sexuality to me.

Oh well, I must admit I'm fairly aggressive. It just seems natural to me. I'm not really lewd or anything, but then I don't like men who have that quality either. Never have. Back before I was married, I frequently used to be the first one to "make a move." *Shrug* I'm not good at being secretive or oblique though, which either because of a complete lack of sense, or because I just don't know how to do that. Social graces are also something I've never quite been able to juggle, either, so perhaps I'm utterly uncouth! ;)

In my defense, we are now on day THREE (!!!) of no coffee maker. And the paycheck is looking a bit too low to be going out for coffee every day. We have to wait for our replacement carafe, because of course we can only find it directly through the manufacturer's website. Honestly, it's nigh on impossible for me to function without coffee. Sad, really, isn't it? So please forgive my inability for logic for a wee bit - for I am deprived of caffiene.

8:23 PM

 
Blogger mireille said...

I love ya, Katie. You made me think more ... I think sex underscores EVERYTHING. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I think about it. And Starbucks'll break you. xoxo

9:07 PM

 
Anonymous Lulu said...

To kick the Starbucks habit...I have a little piggy bank which is my massage fund. Every day I don't buy a cappuccino I put £2 into the pig, and when it adds up to £40 I book a treatment. It's a great incentive.

8:51 AM

 
Blogger Kate said...

I think it's ok for women to be more open and upfront about our sexual selves if we want to be.

One thing I'm grateful to my mom for - she was very comfortable with her own sexuality and didn't teach us to hide it or find it shameful. She was totally ok with bodies in all their forms and states.

She was a nurse who had seen people naked often and stuck her fingers up their butts, helped deliver babies, clean up puke and sh&*, and even witnessed death and autopsy etc. She was not squeamish.

She taught us about sex in a matter of fact way and often joked about it. No "lie still and think of England" for her. :-) Being sent to Catholic school and having such a very repressed Irish Catholic family on my dad's side, I was so glad for her balance and her humor. In my family, it was dad who found talk of bodies embarrassing, who prefered innuendo, who would blush. My mom was not a blusher. :-)

Maybe it's not "traditionally feminine"? What does that mean anyway? Isn't that, at least partly, socially constructed?

To me, women are more earthy than men. I think sometimes we are more in touch with our own mortality because we give birth, if that makes any sense. I guess I just see it differently.

I too, feel glad to be able to "be myself". It's just that, in truth , my "self" is often randy and bawdy.

Sorry for rambling... :-)

7:55 PM

 

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