my occasional musings on life, love, art, perfume ... what else is there?

7.06.2005

PMS Reverie: I Dream of Karl Rove ...


Once again I find myself on the edge of tears because there's dust on my keyboard. And I just marched right over to the neighbors across the street to commiserate with their dogs who were howling. I know how they feel. They don't get enough attention. Nobody does. This is a sad, sad world. I crave ramen salad. You know the salty noodle salad you make with cabbage and iceberg lettuce, almonds, chicken. It's kind of sweet and sour. And I'll chase it with a big cadbury chocolate bar. Wait, there's potato chips in the house ... I'll eat those, too. And I've been meaning to make those marble cupcakes, with orange and chocolate. Yeah. Don't look at me like that. And what I really want is substantive, prosecutable evidence that Karl Rove outed Valerie Plame. THAT would make me feel better. Maybe. And I have a headache. And I feel kind of waterlogged. And ... why are you looking at me like that, dammit! And I hate my clothes. I need some new clothes. And none of my perfumes smell good. Except Calandre. It smells ok. Kind of. Maybe I should order a bunch of samples. And I can't concentrate. And there's a bump on my chin. Damn bump. I'm not feeling pretty. Do you think I'm feminine? And I'm way behind with my work. Because I spend too much time on the internet. And no one understands the real me. And I STILL don't know who the real me is.

This is your mind.
This is your mind on estrogen.

And this is what PMS is like. For four whole days now. Send prayers and good thoughts for those who live with me. Jim and Bucky have the phone lines open.

Today's fragrance (one must soldier on and clearing and thalia have shown me the way): "Change your scent every spring with Escada's annual limited edition seasonal scent, designed to complement its current spring-summer couture collection. The 2000 edition is Lily Chic, a crisp floral harmony. The opening accord is bright with citrus fruits, while fragrant lilies envelop the heart with a burst of brilliance. Lovely for après-spa, weekend escapes, and flirty summer dresses. " © Uh huh. Uh huh.

15 Comments:

Blogger Kate said...

I feel ya. I get wicked PMS too. only mine is bitchier. :-) I dread menopause. I doubt if anyone could live with me if I were like that all the time! :-)

BTW: You are more than pretty, you are beautiful! And you look way younger than you are. Also, yes, very feminine. See, the estrogen is proof!!!! :-) Love, KM

7:50 AM

 
Blogger Urban Chick said...

"I spend too much time on the internet" - is this possible??

you're fabulous, PMS and all!!

UC
x

8:19 AM

 
Blogger katiedid said...

I'd settle for even Robert Novak having to pay the piper finally, since he's the one who actually published the info. Grrr.

I'm a salt fiend when I'm PMSing, too. I'm telling you the cure-all is cheesy fries. Greasy salty yumminess topped off with melted greasy salty yumminess makes me feel oh so much more pleasant.

8:43 AM

 
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

One word: CHOCOLATE. It cures all. Try it honey. ((((mireille))))

8:56 AM

 
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Give Bucky a hug. And I agree with tan lucy: Buy lots of chocolate, and a new bottle of fragrance!

Hope you have a good day.

9:16 AM

 
Blogger Jonniker said...

This is so very wrong, in so many ways, but PMS posts are awesome. So relatable, true and hilarious. This is SO TRUE and funny. But I'm sorry you're living it.

xxoo

9:31 AM

 
Blogger Atreau said...

PMS sucks! Huge hugs for you M, Jim and Bucky! I'm convinced that my uterus is my sworn enemy sent to destroy me anyway it can!

9:42 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! You put on Lily Chic too? Did our thalia wear it today too? Does it help?

Then after a hot hike up the hill and no trace of Lily left I switched over to Floris China Rose and a chartreuse blouse. ......yummmmmmmm....

(****kisses to you for sending me this, M!***)


~clearing

11:13 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't put it on today, but maybe I should've. Everything smells terrible! :D

xoxo thalia

2:08 PM

 
Anonymous janey said...

Chocolate is good, it is in fact very good. There's nothing that can't be fixed with chocolate and everything goes with honey mustard. Those are 2 axioms I live by. Along with there's never too much color, I really can aford that(whatever that is) and my visa bill can wait. If that doesn't help maybe you could just go in a closet and scream? Oh and by the way, I really do love the way you write :>

3:40 PM

 
Blogger Tom & Icy said...

Thank you so much. We have talked to a social worker. You're a very kind person.

4:14 PM

 
Anonymous janey said...

ditto

4:34 PM

 
Blogger Bela said...

Ugh, PMS! I hate the menopause, but no more PMS. That's one thing I don't miss.

At least you know you'll feel better soon. :-)

6:40 PM

 
Blogger Trina said...

(((Micki))) I hate PMS and LOVE Emily! I know a girl who looks just like E and has the same personality/demeanor, and she's a hoot to hang out with! Hope this passes quickly :~)

10:45 PM

 
Anonymous Lulu said...

I never keep track of my cycle so I never realise I'm premenstrual until 48 hours into it. I keep thinking it's really how I feel about my life! Such a relief when I remember...

By the way, I am asking myself why I bother to pay for magazines when people like you write columns just as good as all the journos.

6:28 PM

 

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