my occasional musings on life, love, art, perfume ... what else is there?

6.17.2005

What Would Edith Do?


This is the first installment of an irregularly scheduled feature in which I channel the spirit of Edith Head and provide answers to all your fashion, fragrance and lifestyle questions.

Now ... Let's Ask Edith!

Dear Edith,
I'm concerned about my dog's nakedness. I've always had girl dogs before, and for some reason haven't been bothered by their nudity. But my current dog -- let's call him Buckminster -- is, ahem, male. I am just not sure if it's proper for him to be running around with everything showing. Please advise.
Sincerely,
Blushing in Ballard

Dear Blushing,
Well, let's consider how Buckminster feels about his mistress's discomfort with his natural splendor. Sounds a little Victorian and repressed if you ask me. And you did. Come on sister, Mother Nature made us in all shapes and sizes, get over it.

Yo, Edy!
I'm a pro basketball player and my contract's up this season ... I'm lookin' at a major lifestyle change. It's been years of baggy shorts hangin' around my knees, droopy jerseys, oversize Nikes and the usual pile-o-bling aroun' my neck. I plan to go into social work and need an image change ... what say?
Slackin' not Shaquin'

Slack, dude:
You're tall. That's one good thing. Clothes always look better on tall people. Unfair, but true. Since you're going to be pursuing a career in a helping profession (yes, I know, sports are their own kind of therapy), I see you doing the Eddie Bauer look with a touch of Brooks Brothers thrown in. (get it? thrown in? heh.) Sorry, but long pants are a must. And lose those boats-for-the-feet. It's khakis and loafers for you, my man.

Edith, ma cherie!
I'm in need of a new perfume ... can you suggest a man magnet fragrance that's not too old ladyish? I like all the Victoria's Secret scents and I dig anything Bijan. (That DNA is to die for!) Surely you can help?
Honeypot23 on a well-known fragrance board

Honey,
Yes, I can help. And don't call me Shirley. You need to expand those fragrance horizons, babe. And, for God's sake, stop looking at it from the "Got to Catch Me A Man" angle. They can SMELL desperation, you know. I sense you wear a lot of makeup and short skirts with tight, midriff-baring t-shirts. The obvious fragrance for you is Angel by Thierry Mugler. Let me know how it works out, doll.

And that's it from Edith today! But she'll be back, so let us know any questions you might have!

Ciao!

Today's Fragrance: Edith wears Youth Dew by Estee Lauder.

13 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Erwin,

I heard you're a famous dead designer. Could you manage to perforate the universe and design a better spell-checker for my email? When my spell checker scans the word *death* it comes up with *dither* as a replacement. I don't think that's funny. I've been insulted by my spell checker one too many times .

thanks

PS...I LOVE your drag wear!

~clearing

7:34 AM

 
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

Dear Edith,
I like to get up early and get the newspaper in off the driveway before I have my coffee.

Since I sleep in skimpy nightwear, my husband objects to my going out to grab the paper so lightly clad.

Do I need to get dressed that early?

7:39 AM

 
Blogger mireille said...

Hi, this is Mireille. As you know, I channel EDITH and she is currently not in. Please leave your questions and I will forward them to HER. Thanks for writing and Have a Nice Day!

7:39 AM

 
Blogger Val said...

Dear Edith,

I am looking for a perfume also. I'm not a big fan of strong florals but don't know enough about fragrances to know where to start looking to find a match for my personality. Any suggestions?

8:47 AM

 
Blogger NowSmellThis said...

M, You made me laugh so hard I spewed tea all over my keyboard. Can't wait for the next installment.

9:44 AM

 
Blogger katiedid said...

Heh. This is inspired. I do hope this really will be a regular thing.
"I am just not sure if it's proper for him to be running around with everything showing." is hilarious, freaking hilarious...

10:40 AM

 
Blogger Urban Chick said...

edith: you are a blast and i have a million queries i need to put your way...will send them over to your medium pronto and look forward to hearing your words of wisdom - UC x

1:50 PM

 
Blogger Urban Chick said...

p.s. will you be bringing out some bracelets with 'WWED' embossed on them? me, i feel it might be helpful to be reminded to think what you might do when caught up in difficult situations

if so, let me know, and i'll email over my credit card details

1:52 PM

 
Blogger mireille said...

UC: Edith says thanks ever so, she's looking forward to them and she thinks the WWED bracelets are a workable concept. Please have your girl contact her girl (me) to work out royalty details. xoxo

2:03 PM

 
Blogger Atreau said...

Oh M you are hysterical! I love it! More, more we need more!

5:42 PM

 
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

This is a hoot!

Dear Edith,

Could you help formulate a fragrance for my beloved canine child, Astro, that would make him smell all nice, but would not be too sensitive for his delicate nose.

please, oh please....

6:55 PM

 
Blogger Yesrie said...

{{{pout}}}
I wish I'D thought of the WWED bracelet. :-D

6:56 PM

 
Anonymous keeter said...

I had every intention of spending a quiet evening ingesting Luca Turin's blog, but somehow I got sucked into the vortex known as c'est chic instead. M, this blog of yours is a world of its own. I feel very small and unsettled treading inside this creation of your brilliance, but thank you, for inviting me in.

9:40 PM

 

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