What Would Edith Do?

This is the first installment of an irregularly scheduled feature in which I channel the spirit of Edith Head and provide answers to all your fashion, fragrance and lifestyle questions.

Now ... Let's Ask Edith!

Dear Edith,
I'm concerned about my dog's nakedness. I've always had girl dogs before, and for some reason haven't been bothered by their nudity. But my current dog -- let's call him Buckminster -- is, ahem, male. I am just not sure if it's proper for him to be running around with everything showing. Please advise.
Sincerely,
Blushing in Ballard

Dear Blushing,
Well, let's consider how Buckminster feels about his mistress's discomfort with his natural splendor. Sounds a little Victorian and repressed if you ask me. And you did. Come on sister, Mother Nature made us in all shapes and sizes, get over it.

Yo, Edy!
I'm a pro basketball player and my contract's up this season ... I'm lookin' at a major lifestyle change. It's been years of baggy shorts hangin' around my knees, droopy jerseys, oversize Nikes and the usual pile-o-bling aroun' my neck. I plan to go into social work and need an image change ... what say?
Slackin' not Shaquin'

Slack, dude:
You're tall. That's one good thing. Clothes always look better on tall people. Unfair, but true. Since you're going to be pursuing a career in a helping profession (yes, I know, sports are their own kind of therapy), I see you doing the Eddie Bauer look with a touch of Brooks Brothers thrown in. (get it? thrown in? heh.) Sorry, but long pants are a must. And lose those boats-for-the-feet. It's khakis and loafers for you, my man.

Edith, ma cherie!
I'm in need of a new perfume ... can you suggest a man magnet fragrance that's not too old ladyish? I like all the Victoria's Secret scents and I dig anything Bijan. (That DNA is to die for!) Surely you can help?
Honeypot23 on a well-known fragrance board

Honey,
Yes, I can help. And don't call me Shirley. You need to expand those fragrance horizons, babe. And, for God's sake, stop looking at it from the "Got to Catch Me A Man" angle. They can SMELL desperation, you know. I sense you wear a lot of makeup and short skirts with tight, midriff-baring t-shirts. The obvious fragrance for you is Angel by Thierry Mugler. Let me know how it works out, doll.

And that's it from Edith today! But she'll be back, so let us know any questions you might have!

Ciao!

Today's Fragrance: Edith wears Youth Dew by Estee Lauder.