my occasional musings on life, love, art, perfume ... what else is there?


Summer Doldrums

When I was seven, I could get away with moaning "I'mmmmmmmm borrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrred" in mid-August. But I'm not seven, and I should productively occupy myself. Because a bored mind is prone to flights of self-involved, unevolved thought.

(I'm not like Tan Lucy Pez, link right, who's helping everybody with their vocabulary. Ever wonder what ANALyst really meant? She'll help you with that.)

FOXnews in the background is using Elvis "Nuthin but a Hound dog" as background. Talk about an elegant newscast. Why, why, why do we listen to FOXnews? I believe I covered this: the weather. Well, we've heard the weather, dammit, and I'm changing the channel to CNN. Don't cross me on this. *bares teeth convincingly* [edit: Jim made me add that We Do Not Watch FOXnews, that Rightwing Rag of a Media Conglomerate. Only the local FOX channel, briefly, for the morning weather.]

Maybe coffee will help. *Pads off to carefully measure half cup skim milk, warms up milk in microwave, then artfully pours coffee in so there is an exact one to one ratio of milk to coffee. Pads back to computer. Remember, it's only 8:30 a.m. here, this among the last days of my five year summer vacation.*

Ahh, that's it. My brat mind has wrapped itself around the concept that soon I Will Go Back To School. And Then I Will Go Back To Work, the Land of Constrictive Pantyhose.

Never mind that I've had more leisure in the past five years than most people get in a lifetime.

The wonderful thing about a Mid-Life Hiatus, as opposed to the Recently Out of College Hiatus, is that you have so many fewer illusions. For instance, I'm not tortured with the (dramatically bring hand to brow, as if in despair) I Must be An Artist Syndrome.

Did that. Tortured numerous coworkers in ad agency and marketing communications departments with "I Need More Creative Stimulation." God, there's one -- or two -- in every workplace. Either write the novel, or don't write the novel. But Please Stop Sharing Your Need To Be Creative.

I was always ruminating about "Shouldn't I Be Somewhere Else?" and didn't realize then that co-workers were praying "Oh Please, Let Her Be Somewhere Else."

Let's see, what else am I bored with? Oh, preciousness in all its forms. At one point I was collecting words I swore I'd never use in my writing. Here's some of them: toodle-pip, delish, uber-anything (just used that one the other day), fabu, yummers, buh-bye -- oh, you get the idea.

I need a new focus to my life -- besides perfume, which I will always love. And I think it will be Expensive Lingerie. From this point forward, I will rededicate my life to Expensive Lingerie. Affording it, finding it, fitting in it, handwashing it, storing it in acid-free tissue, continually adding to my what will become extensive collection.

Yes, that's it. Purpose and Meaning. Lingerie.

Fragrance of the day? Agent Provocateur, of course. The sexiest, expensive-lingerie-est enhanced rose around.


Blogger AP3 said...

If your boredom means more blogging, then I'm glad you're bored! ;-)

9:30 AM

Blogger Kyahgirl said...

You're not bored, you're anxious and engaged in a very classy, intellectual form of fretting.

School is going to be a catapult into some change. Some fun and exciting, some scary as hell. I think to have fun, be excited, be scared, be challenged after a mid life hiatus is like a dream come true my dear. Many have already succumbed to a long slow decline into mediocrity.

I admire you so much.

9:47 AM

Blogger Kyahgirl said...

p.s. I forgot to add, love that cartoon!

9:52 AM

Anonymous Laura said...

Fabu! Lingerie in delish tisshue paper---you'll share with us your finds , won't you? Honestly and on the other hand, you are so solidly you and on track (though what do I know from this distance. Still, it seems so very much so.) You're swell and doing swell to boot.
The good thing about life is it has so very many episodes. Best of luck for this next one of yours.
Hugs and all the rest,

10:12 AM

Blogger Diane said...

I'm a bit pink from embarrassment. *I* used to collect words. Err, while we're at confessions, I can happily entertain myself with a dictionary.

Wow, that is wonderful that you're going back to school. What a full life you lead, M.

Love 'Land of Constrictive Pantyhose,' btw. And lingerie is a worthy, purposeful cause.

10:20 AM

Blogger Urban Chick said...

this post is too too hilarious!!

[panicking though as i feel sure i have used at least three of the forbidden words on my blog - runs a quick 'search and destroy' command...]

the constrictive pantyhose (aka tights in the UK) is the main reason i loathe the notion of a return to remunerated employment


1:04 PM

Blogger Val said...

Hehe! Thanks for the giggle =) I especially liked the "please let her go somewhere else" part, though I can't imagine anyone not finding you refreshing & checking your blog religiously =D Enjoy those last precious days of leisure ;)

2:44 PM

Blogger Jonniker said...

Expensive lingerie. I went through that phase. It lasted all of three seconds, and Fruit of the Loom it is!


3:37 PM

Blogger still life said...

oh my absolute favorite is lingerie!
nothing, nothing, nothing can make you feel better...especially when receiving as a gift


4:27 PM

Blogger Bela said...

Am I a freak? I don't know the meaning of "bored". I've never been bored in my life, at least not because I didn't have anything special to do anyway. Only certain people and situations bore me. I'm an only child: is that why?

Expensive, scratchy lingerie - bah! And I won't let anyone buy my knickers for me.

Here's to learning! The cure for boredom.

5:07 PM

Blogger actonbell said...

LOL, loved this post!
I've seen ads for spray-on hose, and I'm going to give them a try. I hate wearing hose, even if it's once in a blue moon.

6:55 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

test comment

7:16 PM

Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

Ah, pantyhose! A distant memory! I love being retired.

This was a MOST enjoyable read.

Lingerie is a truly wonderful idea. Just don't get negligent. Negligent:adj., describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7:32 PM

Blogger mireille said...

YAY! a TLP comment!!

7:33 PM

Blogger Bela said...

Negligent! ROTFL!

8:00 PM

Blogger Trina said...

LOL! When I was younger, ANY time my sister or I would say we were bored, my mom would respond, "If you're bored, go clean your room."

I'm afraid I can't support a switch to expensive lingerie - what is fragrance, if not the most personal and memorable lingerie of all? Plus, lingerie rips and can be quite uncomfortable...

I'm scientific with my hot beverages as well - be it tea or coffee, I always add enough sugar to form a saturated solution. Seriously. My family gives me hell about it :~D

1:00 AM

Anonymous Lulu said...

I think the 'Go and clean your room' answer is common to all mothers. Where do they learn that stuff?

I was always bored as a child. Now, I can sit for three hours thinking about maybe doing something. I don't *think* that's bored, is it?

I love the whole of this post, ROTFL.

6:20 PM


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