This Hat Speaks to Me

Those of us, and we know who we are -- the vertically challenged -- live in dread of Royal Weddings, Derby Season, Ascot and Other Occasions requiring Ornate Headwear. (Sure we do. In our dreams.)

I have heard our biggest hat-wearing fears variously described: being mistaken for an oversize mushroom. The short, short legs; the wide, wide brim. Inability to see out from under oversize crown sliding down to nose. Absence of enough ballast to remain upright and stable in a stiff wind. (Although someone close to me has mentioned this would not be a problem in light of my solidity -- still I seethe. And plot revenge for that remark.)

However, Philip Treacy, London milliner to royalty and wealthy hangers-on, must be a very sensitive man. For he has included in his exclusive collection a hat specifically targeted to us: the few, the proud, the 5' and under.

Here you see it ... a hat adding what must be a full foot of height to its wearer. Every vertical pink inch of it.

What insouciance! What audacity! What a very strange piece of equipment!

And how would you keep it on? Surgical adhesive? Thumbtacks? Moorage rope?

But such a small price to pay for such style!