my occasional musings on life, love, art, perfume ... what else is there?


Career Options: Second in a Series

I have labored my whole life under a misconception.

That I am bookish, use overlarge words, tend toward the artsy side of things, think deep thoughts ... meh.

Now I know this has all been a mistake. And I am free to pursue my true calling:


When Jim wasn't looking this morning, I managed to catch a good-sized chunk of Judge Joe Brown on FOX-TV (the network for right thinkers). And one of the litigants was a blonde demonstrating a lot of cleavage who spoke inspirationally about B&D as a career option.

Granted, she's working with quite a bit more raw material than I currently have on board. But I'm willing to sacrifice for my craft. I hear that silicone is back in as an implant option. And they hardly ever leak nowadays.

I have googled for leather bustiers -- have you seen the wide variety? Some of them are quite inventive. Air-conditioned, even. And the ingenious use of zippers. Amazing.

Latex is also available. Seems like you'd get kind of sweaty, however. I mean, wielding a whip is aerobic exercise, at least for the upper body.

Speaking of whip-wielding, I am practicing on Bucky. Oh, not the whip part -- he'd never stand for that. I mean the whole dominating attitude thing. I have been working on glowering at him. And it seems really effective ... until he yawns and moves off to do something else.

I've got him to the point where he'll lie there with me glowering for a good five minutes. I plan on expanding the time in one minute increments until I can get him to lie there for fifteen minutes -- that's about how much time I'd need to dominate the average client, I think.

Fees, hm. How do you put a price on domination? You can't really do a time and motion study on this one -- I guess I'll look through the alternative newspapers' classified ads, call up a few specialists and inquire about pricing. Then I'll undercut 'em, since I'm new.

And advertising. I'd like to rely on word of mouth for this one. And keep the clientele small and select. Preferably right wing and repressed. The perfect target market!

I'm still conflicted about the whole whip thing, though. I can't really get behind hurting somebody, even if they're begging for it.

I know! I can specialize in verbal domination! I'll talk 'em into submission.

THAT I have experience in.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have always known this about you. (I think all of us have) You are simply, perfectly, the Dominatrix of Verbiage and Glance. Speak! and glance on! "Our Dominatrix"... O:

12:25 PM

Blogger mireille said...

what a lovely thing to say, o anonymous one!

12:52 PM

Blogger Jesster said...


Do you watch Six Feet Under? Season two has an episode about a call girl. She's doing really well (literally)...

1:42 PM

Blogger Urban Chick said...

me too, me too!! always thought of myself as 'bookish' and 'artsy' but had hitherto never considered The Dominatrix-y (kinda like The Papacy, no?)

thank you for the inspiration (i am lucky already to be in possession of the 'raw material' - still, recovery from major surgery could give you time out to think on some techniques...)

urban chick xxx

3:22 AM

Blogger katiedid said...

That was just unreasonably funny, M. I had to read it twice through in a row, because I was laughing so hard. When you're done with this series you are going to have one awful funny pretend resume. And I'd read that, too.

1:00 PM

Anonymous mamiesb said...

I am allergic to many forms of latex. Can I be a dominatrix and still wear cotton? I promise to wear frightening bras.

2:29 PM

Blogger NowSmellThis said...

Great post M, and let me know if you figure out how to commercialize your skills :-)

BTW, where did the pink hat go?

2:32 PM

Blogger briefcandle said...

Hilarious, m! You reminded me how much I like to say the word booosteayay. My goal today is to work it into casual conversation unnoticed.

3:11 PM

Blogger Kyahgirl said...

Seems like a reasonable career option. Even if you forgo the whip, you can still enjoy the thigh high leather boot and judiciously padded bustier. Combined with the glower, I'm sure Bucky will begin to see you as the masterful one you really are.

9:02 AM


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