my occasional musings on life, love, art, perfume ... what else is there?


The Avoidant Personality

Sometimes I wince at things I see in books and on TV. I will walk out of the room if a show about dog abuse is advertised. I am no fan of war movies, of the TV show 24, or shows with vivid depiction of poverty.

(I admit a perverse attraction to the old COPS show, especially if it involves car chases or police running through the bushes chasing a hairy guy in a wifebeater tshirt who grows marijuana in his backyard.)

I don't like mordant displays of emotionalism, I don't like it when other people's emotion pulls emotion out of me. Do that and I will close the gate and pull up the drawbridge against you.

So, does this qualify as an avoidant personality?

Probably not ,according to DSM-IV-TR, whose definition deals heavily in inability to navigate the real world.

Hey, I can navigate the real world. It's just, in a lot of cases, I choose not to.

photo: a castle in Kansas, a WPA project circa 1936, Coronado Heights, KS.


Blogger ariel said...

Mireille, do you know the movies of Lars Von Trier? He uses handcameras. Damn annoying. You say to yourself, five more minutes and I will scream, I cannot stand it, God help, I am going crazy. While you're trying to read the subtitle and keep up with the story. Before you realize you are in the middle of it. You've forgotten about the handcamera. You try hard not to cry, becase it is so stupid to cry in public. No way. Just came to me because people like you are well armed for situations in which your feelings are tried to be manipulated, you can be fooled only when nobody tries to fool you.

2:46 PM

Blogger mireille said...

A, your perception astounds. Jim said, "How old is she?" And we will look for the maddening movies. ♥ xoxo

3:28 PM

Blogger ariel said...

35. I'm real curious what you'll think of his movies. :-)

10:45 PM

Blogger Lettuce Hater said...

i can't watch films with violence, gory, involve children being hurt/abused - if in doubt, i send a friend along to see the film first and let me know whether they think it'd be suitable for me

some friends have told me that not being able to confront the hideous realities of war and the other dark sides of humanity, i am somehow in denial

utter tosh! in fact, i have a very vivid imagination and intellectually am totally able to accept that these hideous acts take place but why should i have to 'watch' them to believe it?

i must say, i've enjoyed quite a few of the 'dogme' films (of which lars von trier is one director) - i'd recommend 'festen' (check it out on



5:28 AM

Blogger mireille said...

UC! I'm so sorry about the lettuce. Is it ALL lettuce? Even Boston bibb? We must work on this. xoxoxoxoxo

7:11 PM

Blogger Doug said...

If it makes you feel any better, I avoid mordant displays of emotionalism, too. And in my case: MORDANT, adj. Perceptible.

7:09 AM

Blogger mireille said...

Main Entry: 1mor┬Ědant
Pronunciation: 'mor-d&nt
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle French, present participle of mordre to bite; from Latin mordEre; perhaps akin to Sanskrit mrdnAtihe, presses, rubs
1 : biting and caustic in thought, manner, or style : INCISIVE a mordant wit
2 : acting as a mordant

D, I was going for #3, in terms of demonstration of emotion. Maybe you had to be there. And we all know how you feel about public demonstrations of ... whatever. xoxo

6:52 PM

Blogger Doug said...


6:04 AM

Blogger Doug said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

6:04 AM

Blogger Trina said...

I avoid violent imagery, most especially that against animals or children. Once it's in my head, it never goes away, and often pops back into it when I'm trying to *not* think of negative things. I learned years ago to avoid nature programs because of things that still upset me to this day. Nothing wrong with avoiding things you know will cause you pain.

9:34 PM


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