What Fresh Hell Is This? The Sharp, Sweet Cynicism of Dorothy Parker

By the time you swear you're his
Shivering and sighing
And he vows his passion is Infinite, undying
Lady, make a note of this: One of you is lying.

"Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), American writer, whose poems and short stories are characterized by a bitingly humorous and sardonic style. Born in West End, New Jersey [to a Jewish father, J. Henry Rothschild, and a Scottish mother, Eliza (Marston) Rothschild], Parker was educated at the Blessed Sacrament Convent, in New York City. From 1916 to 1920 she was a drama and literary critic for the magazines Vogue and Vanity Fair in New York City, after which she became a free-lance writer. Parker was a member of the Algonquin Round Table, a group of writers and artists that gathered regularly during the 1920s and 1930s at the Algonquin Hotel in New York City. The group included such American writers as George S. Kaufman, Robert E. Sherwood, Marc Connelly, Heywood Broun, and Robert Benchley and was known for witty conversation and verbal sparring."*

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

*"Parker, Dorothy," Microsoft® Encarta® Online Encyclopedia 2005http://encarta.msn.com © 1997-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All Rights Reserved.