The Knife-Sharp Edge of Irritability

What is UP with me? I seem to be carrying around this seething quality ... a chip-on-the-shoulderness that makes me REALLY hard to live with.

Jim suggests I'm coming down from a period of stress from my internship and somehow my chemistry is out of whack. I think that's probably it ... but I hope it regulates itself back into whack before I kill a small animal.

I am an attractive woman. But when I'm in this mood, my self-image changes. All of a sudden, I take on the persona of the hunchback of Notre Dame on one of his bad days. Lurching around here, looking for venomous rodents to snack on and wondering why no one loves me.

Well, heh, it's obvious, isn't it? I just haven't applied the right perfume yet.

And ANOTHER THING: last night on the fragrance board I occasionally frequent, my favorite question once again popped up. Every once in a while, late at night, the trollish adolescents (who I bet are in their thirties -- they come up with these stupid questions and yet are able to frame coherent sentences on other boards, utilizing words such as "placebo" and "prophylactic" ) start in on "what are old lady perfumes?"

One of my favorite responses last night was something like "those perfumes not worn by young idiots with an inability to appreciate art in scent."

You know, though, maybe I've got this "offended by 'old lady'" thing wrong.

Many old ladies have finally achieved dignity at this stage in their lives. They have a sense of themselves that long since transcended fashion; they now have style.

You never see an old lady in "muffin-top" jeans (you know, those jeans worn by twenties/thirties chicks who apparently don't look downward. If they did, they'd realize that bared midriff is not as sleek and lean as one might hope, and it is currently drifting over the edge of their jeans, generating that much sought after "beer belly overlap effect.")

Old ladies are kind. Much kinder than me, and much, much kinder than the twenties/thirties chicklets.

And these old women are smart. Smart enough not to take offense at idiocy. Smart enough to know how truly unimportant a question about "old lady perfume" is.

I think I'll go dig through my samples and try to find my best old lady fragrance.

Here's to you, graceful old scented ones! I hope to be one of you!