my occasional musings on life, love, art, perfume ... what else is there?

11.07.2005

YOWTCH! YOWTCH! YOWTCH!

(re the illustration: is that a small chip off her tooth? And why is she breathing through her mouth? Allergies?)

Welp, I just got back from my third trip to the bathroom in forty-five minutes (no, not for that) during which I inspected my lips for evidence that they now belong to Angelina Jolie.

Yes, today I received my DuWop Lip Venom. As if I didn't already have enough excitement in my life. NOW I AM IN THE BIG LEAGUES. Well, let's say I'm sitting on one of the Big League benches.

This is going to change my life. I am going from a lipdeficient state to a lipoverage state.

I ripped open my Sephora package, wrested open the artfully -- and damn tightly -- sealed DuWop canister-o-Venom, whipped out the vial and slathered the liquid onto my lips.

YOWTCH! YOWTCH! YOWTCH! Nobody told me there would be stinging! That stuff hurts! YOWTCH! YOWTCH! YOWTCH!

I guess the way it works is, you plaster this cinnamony-burning stuff onto your mouth and your lips puff up out of self-defense.

Well, that was forty-five minutes ago. And ... well, I think I see a little more definition. Kind of. They look a little more ... there.

Ahem. I'm sure it just takes repeated application.

Today's fragrance: L'Orientaliste Santal eau de parfum. This is some sandalwood ... no sweetness; exceptionally dry. So dry, in fact, that it pushes past the Bandit drydown realm of tobacco and leather. Probably a bit too ... androgynous ... for me. In other words, I smell like I just left a tobaccoist. Where I smoked a very good cigar.

24 Comments:

Blogger Kyahgirl said...

Just laughing at the visual. Petite little pixie walking into walls with her big honkin' lips :-)

love ya M. You always make me smile!

8:24 PM

 
Blogger Ariella said...

I got a mental image of Goldie Hawn in that movie where she has her lips overdone with Botox, First Wives' Club, I think.
I do hope it comes out better than THAT!

11:55 PM

 
Blogger dddragon said...

okay, I think 'before' and 'after' photos are in order!

3:25 AM

 
Blogger actonbell said...

I've never heard of that stuff--and I'm with 3D! and I hope it doesn't keep stinging:)

3:31 AM

 
Blogger Urban Chick said...

my god, that sounds frightening!

did they deflate before bedtime?

ouch!

3:58 AM

 
Blogger Annieytown said...

I have never tried the duwop venom. It is the venom in the name that scares me.

5:18 AM

 
Blogger Bela said...

One day the fashion for poofy lips will go poof! (the elbow will be the next erogenous zone) and all those collagen-ed women will be left with stupid, "démodées" lips. Blech!

5:20 AM

 
Blogger Bela said...

A, it's just cashing in on women's predilection for using poison: arsenic in face powder, Botox... Wonder what it says about us (well, not me).

5:26 AM

 
Blogger clearing said...

The Elizabethans really liked that lead powder. I was surprised to learn they never washed it off but instead had it scraped off every once in a while by a "professional scraper person" Underneath was acne and scabs and raw skin from irritation and I guess the lead poisoning was not a very nice way to die. But they would go ahead and put that stuff right back on, sleep in it for months, reapplying it daily, etc. (my daughters think it was removed once a year) all the while not realizing what it was.

But I'm just certain that venom stuff must be good for you. I must obtain some for my chest. :O


XXX

7:35 AM

 
Blogger Kate said...

LOL at C putting it on her chest!!!

7:53 AM

 
Blogger the addict said...

Welcome to the world of lip plumpers, M! Way back when I started the blog I posted a review of lip plumpers (here it is if you're interested: )

I'm not sure that Lip Venom really does anything but sting and make your lips a little redder. It also has a numbing effect which makes them feel swollen, like after you've been to the dentist.

If you really want to be in the big, big, big leagues of plumpers, try Lorac Lip Addiction in Super Hot. This stuff is so potent, even I can't stand having it on for more than a minute! I think the product was developed for masochists...LOL!

8:33 AM

 
Blogger the addict said...

oops, the link didn't post. I am bad at writing even small pieces of html. anyhow, here is where I wrote about lip plumpers...I think it may have been my second post EVER, LOL.

http://beautyaddict.blogspot.com/2005/09/plump-it-up.html

8:34 AM

 
Blogger ParisLondres said...

LOL! You make me smile darling M!
I am scared to use things like Lip Venom. Give me simple lip balms.

(((((((((((((M))))))))))

11:49 AM

 
Blogger cjblue said...

Argh, suddenly intrigued by L'Orientaliste Santal. Past Bandit drydown? Must test self. Can I take it? Will I be edgy and mysterious in it? Will I feel all-powerful?

As for the lip venom, I tried it, felt the burn (no pain, no gain, right?), saw really no big change. Maybe a bit, but I was drunk 45 minutes later, so it's hard to know for sure. Next time maybe I'll just try it at home.

I have another product, actually designed for nipples, that is full of tingly menthol-y fun stuff and amazing on lips. *light bulb* Maybe you should try the Lip Venom on your nipples!

(suddenly changing tonight's plans...)

1:07 PM

 
Blogger the addict said...

cjblue, are you talking about the stuff from Agent Provocateur??

M, I read on Annie's blog that you also bought the Stila kajals. What do you think? :)

1:37 PM

 
Blogger Kyahgirl said...

cjblue! Well I never! you are such a wild and crazy girl. (and full of good ideas!)
I must find that little catalogue you sent me :-)

2:49 PM

 
Blogger mireille said...

*note to self: be careful about topics in blog. Seem to ignite unusual responses and creative suggestions.* Oh, what the hey, maybe that's a good thing! heh. xoxo

3:36 PM

 
Anonymous janey said...

Well I guess it's called lip venom for a reason? And DuWops a very nice name.

7:01 PM

 
Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

WTF is going on here? I'm late to the party, and it's out of control. Without ME. Maybe just as well. I'm not doin' nothin' to my nipples. Maybe my lips....

7:38 PM

 
Blogger Tom & Icy said...

Will this give chickens lips?

7:41 PM

 
Blogger cjblue said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:08 AM

 
Blogger cjblue said...

Addict: What's the stuff from Agent Provocateur? (curious now) I was talking about a product from those parties that are like tupperware, only not. (Lotions, massagers, things that require batteries...)

8:09 AM

 
Blogger the addict said...

cjblue: I left a comment re AP on your blog. Mireille will faint if we continue discussing these items here. :)

5:06 PM

 
Blogger mireille said...

Hey! I can handle it! Heh. ♥ xoxo

7:09 AM

 

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