my occasional musings on life, love, art, perfume ... what else is there?


Nigella Lawson, Eat THIS!

I'm just puttering around in my kitchen, doing my imitation of Nigella Lawson, voluptuous heiress to the kingdom of Julia Child (may she rest in peace, and, sorry, Julia may have known her way around a ganache but in terms of sex appeal, Nigella beats her all to heck).

My imitation of Nigella involves preparing a chicken for roasting while wearing a deep-V black sweater as my dark glossy hair curls artlessly around my shoulders ...

I frequently pause to lasciviously lick some of what I'm preparing from my fingertips, while looking meaningfully into the imaginary camera. (Not really advisable when preparing raw chicken, what with the ugly spectre of salmonella but oh well. It's a free range chicken and I'm hoping for the best.)

I skillfully pry the skin of the breast up with a wooden spoon, commenting to myself how very full and plump and white this breast is (no double entendre is homeless with our Nigella) and shove softened butter up underneath to ensure lubricity, insert orange halves into the cavity (no explanation necessary), sprinkle on salt, pepper and thyme ... and tie the legs to the bedpost, I mean together.

I'm working up quite a sweat, what with the heat of the kitchen and the excitement of knowing I'll soon pop this work of art into the oven ... I can feel the flush climbing up the V of my sweater (did I mention it was black?) and ... and ... and ...

It's in!

Wow, that was good. If I smoked, I'd be having a cigarette now.

On to frosting the cake ...


Blogger NowSmellThis said...

I am the only person on the planet that has NEVER seen Nigella Lawson, aren't I? I don't watch nearly enough TV, because my husband is always watching sports so I can't even get to it.

11:18 AM

Blogger mireille said...

the thing about Nigella is that she almost qualifies as a sport -- something in the range of female mudwrestling, only with chocolate and a spoon.

11:52 AM

Blogger ParisLondres said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:33 AM

Blogger ParisLondres said...

LOL! I love this piece and you should send this to Nigella. She is a gorgeous woman - apparently there are more men viewers in most countries they surveyed. Think she is hilarious.

Thanks for making me laugh!


5:33 AM


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